aaron on diablerie

i asked a few different people to write about the Diablerie. Spleidt wrote about it HERE. the only other person to get back at me was Aaron, and here's his story...





fuck it.


Diablerie:

Basically in a nut shell.


I had recently quit Disembodied to attempt to raise a child. In the summer of 96' a year had passed before i even spoke to anyone in the band. One fatefull day i recieved a phone call from Justin who had just returned from touring with the band. He basically told me that if i didn't re-join that he was going to quit and that Disembodied would be done or at least as far as he was concerned. He also told me about his experiences he had on tour and the reaction they had recieved from fans...specifically at the Goletta festival. I was a little surprised to hear they had even toured let alone having the amazing reaction to the band. He went on to say that Joel had writen an entire album worth of material and that the shit was sick.


This obviously got the wheels spinning again. So i spoke with Joel and Tara and we managed to set aside our differences. I got together with the band and heard those 9 songs. Needless to say i was floored. Within 3 months we were in the studio recording Diablerie October 96.


Over the prior year and a half suffice to say i went through some major changes in my life. Just having a child can put anyone's life in major perspective. My being only 19 at the time, being married and with child really posed a unique challenge to me being in a touring band. However i never stopped writing poetry about my experiences and suffering. Being in a band has always been about creative expression and having an outlet to vent my emotions and frustrations i have with the world or my life in general. Not having that left a gaping hole in my life. Something a relationship, even having a child could never fill. So i felt compelled to make the very difficult decisions i had to make.


In order to salvage what was left of a dying marriage and what apeared to be a dying band on the verge of greatness. My wife and i decided to give our child up for adoption to her parents. (at least so we could have visitation rights) It seemed the right thing to do. I didn't know the first thing about being a parent. I'm sure we would have done fine in retrospect but for our child they could provide for him better than we ever could and would provide for me the opportunity to do things with my life that having a child just never would have happened. (at least from my perspective at the time.) I will never have any regrets about that. I know to this day i did what was best for our child and myself.
It did however create alot of suffering on my behalf, much of which are cronicled on Diablerie: (dealings with the devil)

I never thought this record would have the inpact it did.


I'm still surprised to this day people even listen to it.


(although it is probably my favorite record of ours)

I am humbled by the fact that Disembodied ever became what it was (is?) And am looking forward to what Disembodied will become again.


Only time will tell.


~Aaron.